Posted on July 21, 2009 in life lessons
In the past few years, I have developed a love of gardening. Sometimes I feel like I’ve learned more from digging, pruning, and watering than I have from any schooling. My garden is my teacher. Learning to garden has deepened my understanding of how I wish to live. Here are some lessons learned from spending time amidst the flowers and the weeds.
Cultivate beauty and goodness. When I taught sixth grade, I had a quote on my door that read: “To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.” I was essentially saying this: Wherever you go, leave your imprint. Just like each flower bud or blossoming tree, there is no one else exactly like you. We all have the power to leave this world better off than how we found it. As I watch nature’s beauty abound, I am continually encouraged to share myself with the world.
Nurture. A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I attended our first cooking class together (What guy doesn’t love to learn all about grilling?) We laughed a lot, over misinterpreted directions, and created a memory together. When I feel overwhelmed by life, I tend to compromise my relationships. But, just like plants, people need to be nurtured and fed with compassion, love, laughter, and fun. Although I must say, a little sun and water doesn’t hurt!
Life has disappointments and surprises. Why is one of my hydrangeas barren this year? I’m going to blame it on that rainy month of June. Whatever the reason, disappointment is a part of life, and coping with it is an invaluable lesson for our children. Last year, my stubborn Liatrus refused to bloom. So naturally, I forgot about it. This summer, it’s flaunting purple blooms. Show off. Sometimes our initial disappointment is actually a gift in disguise- surprise!
Don’t Obsess About the Negative. I tend to obsess over weeds. My husband can attest to that. I’ll spend an entire afternoon weeding, and two weeks later, they’re back, snickering at me. Sigh. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that there will always be weeds (I think my blood pressure just rose.). I can’t control them. I’ve come to the conclusion that what I focus on will become my reality. Lately, I’ve surrendered to the weeds and have redirected my attention to the abundant beauty.
Create. When I’m gardening, I am creating something beautiful. I love digging my hands into the cool, wet soil and cultivating it into a gift of nature. I find great satisfaction in designing and planning my garden and then watching my plans unfold, often with surprises. What I’ve learned: Now is the time. Create the life you want for yourself. Make a plan (and then be prepared to improvise).
What you want isn’t always what you need. What I want are those beautiful, vibrant flowers that like full sun, but I’ve resigned myself to the fact that these don’t fair well in a part-shade garden (Please don’t suggest another fern or hosta!). I have since found some beautiful Geranium Roxanne and Shasta Daisies to color the area. My advice: After stomping your feet, ask yourself what you really need. Go with what is rather than what if.
Make room for newness and possibility. This may sound ridiculous: Give me a pair of pruning shears, and I’m a happy mama. I could spend an afternoon (really just the length of nap-time) pruning a lilac or azalea bush. I think this stems from my desire to de-clutter, to get rid of the old and make room for the new. How many of us need to kick an old habit or sever a toxic relationship? We’re afraid to cut it out of our lives. But sometimes we have to clear out the old to make room for possibility. When I prune back the stuff on top, it’s as if those little buds underneath are whispering thank you.
Experiment. Despite having a tag that says “part shade,” my Heuchera prefer full sun. How do I know? I’ve moved them, more than once. With my yard, I never know what works until I try. Sometimes parenting, too, feels like a scientific experiment- hypothesis testing, to be exact. I’ve experimented with food, sleep schedules, discipline tactics, etc. Is it “right”? Who knows. But just like my garden, it works for me.
Do What You Love. When I’m outside gardening, I’m at home. I’m perfectly content. Gardening serves my soul. When I see people doing what they love, rather than chasing wealth, I think “Yes, now that’s courage.” Life is not a dress rehearsal- do what you love!
