Tag: back to basics

Posted on January 17, 2010 in mind and body

For the past few months, I have been flipping through my stash of old magazines, collecting words, phrases, quotes, and pictures that inspire and make me smile.

Looking back on the process, I learned a lot about myself from what I both chose to include and chose not to  include.

Here are some things I learned about myself: 

• I value creativity and discovery in myself and my family. 

• If you gave me $100, I’d probably spend it on organizational tools for my home, plants for my garden, or All-Clad pots (Umm . . . only $100? Maybe a ladle).

• If I could only do one thing today, I’d have family tickle time. It’s raw fun and laughter at its best.

• While I live in an area that’s fast-paced, I’d rather take the slow road. 

• I’m a work in progress. Someday I’ll be organized (See organizational tools above). 

• If I knew that I couldn’t fail, I would write a book or plant fields of lilacs.

• I daydream about having my own creative sanctuary (aka home office) with sunlight streaming through the windows. 

• I believe that we all have the power to make a positive impact on our world, no matter how great or small. 

• I’m attracted to “B” words like breathe, being, believe, bloom.  

Okay, enough analyzing.

If someone asked you to create a poster that shows who you are and what you want for your life, could you do it? What words, phrases, or quotes would you include? What pictures? 

Posted on December 31, 2009 in life lessons

Photo by Myki Roventine

Christmas is behind us, and I know many of you are breathing a sigh of relief. I am. We’ve built this holiday up to something way beyond its humble beginnings, and I, for one, can’t keep up with the unwritten rules and commercialism. Case in point: Our white lights never made it out of the attic to decorate the bushes. I’m finished berating myself; my toddler saw plenty of white lights.  

I often feel as though I will honor Christmas in my heart when . . .Um, when everything gets done. Have you ever said this to yourself? I’ll be happy when . . . I’ll relax when . . . I’ll have fun when . . . Well, when is never soon enough. It leaves us stranded right now and denies us the beauty of the present moment. And so we spend the month of December tired, impatient, and anxious. 

I felt this way on December 12, when we picked out our Christmas tree. Well, we didn’t pick it out; my husband did. I’m a wimp when it comes to the cold. So, my daughter and I sat in the car (for moral support), with the heat blaring, while Daddy got the job done. And it was just that- a job, a chore. It was something that I needed to check off of the list: Get the tree. 

My thought process was this: Let’s get the tree, so we can get it home, so we can decorate it and enjoy it before it sheds everywhere. (Oh, and we will enjoy it, dammit.) I felt rushed, un-festive, and somewhat of a Grinch. Would this feeling end? Yes, but not until I made the decision to turn up the music and celebrate. 

Christmas was different for me this year. Since I spent Christmas Day in southern California with my family, Santa visited NJ early, and we feasted with my in-laws and exchanged gifts on the 19th. Essentially, I celebrated two Christmases, each one different and special in its own right. One was spent in the midst of a snowstorm. The other, in the land of fake snow.

For me, Christmas has never been about the day; it’s a feeling, one that doesn’t negate to-do lists, but that allows us to find peace and joy no matter what the circumstances. 

Even if you’re not religious, indulge me for a moment. Over two thousand years ago, a baby was born in a barn. A barn. This tiny baby is arguably one of the most influential figures in history. How could an evening so simple, humble, and unsanitary be so extraordinary? Was Mary stressed out because the barn didn’t have white lights? I don’t think so. It was a celebration of life, love, and family, in that very moment. Rumor has it there were three gifts. Forgive me for oversimplifying matters, but I really do believe it was that simple. Do you hear me Bloomingdale’s? 

STOP what you’re doing and consider this: What if Christmas really is a feeling? What if it isn’t a day or an event? What if you woke up in the morning and wished your husband or children a “Merry Christmas,” because the most important things on your Christmas list can’t be bought? They are right there in front of you. Embrace your family. Honor the beauty of a new day. Give hugs and laugh a lot. And keep it simple. That was the intention. 

May you have a happy, healthy 2010 and many Merry Christmases!

Posted on December 1, 2009 in go green

Have you ever read something that seems to be speaking directly to you? Like it was written with you in mind? And you have to read it again because you’re in disbelief? This was the feeling I had after reading Maira Kalman’s NY Times blog post, Back to the Land. I’ve read it again and again. It’s absolutely brilliant. 

And moving. Well, moving me to replace the swingset with an edible garden. I don’t know if this was Kalman’s intention, but I think Thomas Jefferson would approve. I’ve been itching to dig my fingers into this well-defined area of our backyard for awhile now. But I keep putting it off. It feels wrong to dismantle the swing and the slide. From my experience, they are the crowned jewels of childhood. 

But then I read this piece. Dammit. 

And in it, I read this quote from Cicero: “If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.” 

How do you explain that to a two-year-old? 

Something is calling me to begin a family garden. How cool would it be to make our own veggie pizza on Friday nights? Maybe there’s a new family ritual in our future. Or maybe I’m being a Pollyanna. I just can’t get Cicero out of my head.

**This post is a part of the Moms’ 30 Minute Blog Challenge at Steady Mom**

Posted on November 11, 2009 in family fun, small moments

Ever since the pumpkins arrived, I’d had my eye on the enormous empty cardboard boxes at our local farm. It pains me to see them piled on pallets, awaiting their fate at the recycling center. So I decided to take one home. It wasn’t hard for me to convince my husband to haul one into the back of our Subaru. I think he was secretly tickled pink that I was so excited to make a fort.  

This fort cost us nothing, but the payoff was huge. We spent quality time together as a family, laughed, played, and got some great photos before mommy got stuck in the door. 

From a parent’s perspective, the only thing that I needed to invest in this fort was my time and my presence. I think this is what our children really want- for us to be there with them, in the small moments. Not physically, but emotionally. To temporarily abandon our lists, obligations, and judgmental thoughts and to get silly and have fun, and be a kid again. 

Sometimes the best things in life are free. Cardboard included.

Posted on November 1, 2009 in parenting

Photo by Tammra McCauley

When the phone rings, my daughter inevitably holds her hand up to her ear and exclaims, “Me-a!” (She knows that it’s likely to be Aunt Mir from California.) When the remote control is laying on the couch cushion, she grabs it and points to the television. When I’m brushing my teeth, she reaches for her toothbrush. When I dance or jump, she too bends at the knees or gets that hip going.  

She’s learning, and it’s all the result of observation and imitation. Notice how I didn’t say that it’s the result of Baby Einstein or flashcards or Leap Frog’s latest talking, flashing toy. I think we’ve overcomplicated matters. It’s time to get back to basics and to simplify our teaching methods. Our children are watching, so don’t be caught picking your nose. But do consider using everyday objects, routines, and tasks as learning opportunities. 

1. Walking up the Stairs: Since my daughter is just learning how to navigate stairs, we’ve started counting them. Now it’s a routine, and she lights up when I start to count. Nine is her favorite number these days. It often sounds something like this: Me: One, Her: Nine, Me: Two, Her: Nine, and so on.   

2. Washing Hands: While you’re hanging your child over the ledge of the sink, why not sing the ABCs? It’s just the right amount of time to wash away those germs before mealtimes or after playing in dirt. If you have to wash up, you might as well sing!  

3. Diaper Changes: From chatting with other moms, it seems that diaper changes can often be a source of frustration for parents as even the sweetest toddlers transform into wiggle worms with a will (Think skid marks in undies are bad? Now multiply that across your living room floor.). I’ve found that distraction is key. I either sing a song she’s heard before or talk about our day. During this time, I focus on enunciating clearly, as my daughter is generally in tune with the movement of my mouth and lips.  

4. Driving in the Car: Depending on your family situation and schedule, you might spend a significant amount of time in the car. The other day I heard this coming from the back seat: “Lello (yellow), re (red), bo (brown), lello.” It finally came to me that my daughter was naming the fall colors on the trees. She’ll do this with cars as well. Point out the train, trucks, stop signs, supermarket, and other landmarks in your neighborhood. Just stay focused on the road so you don’t have to cover the red and blue flashing lights lesson. 

5. Real World Objects: I’m willing to bet that your children know the difference between the real cell phone and the Fisher-Price one. Same thing with your keys. They want to be like us, and they’re not fools. Get out an extra broom, hairbrush, mixing bowl, washcloth, and let them explore and learn. 

6. Playtime: Human interaction trumps all. Nothing can replace encouraging exploration and imagination by playing with blocks, dolls, or cars. I find that many stay-at-home moms struggle with this, because it’s easy to feel that we should be managing household chores and tasks first and foremost. We could be playing (By playing, I do not mean a rousing game of “scrub the tub.”). And our little copy cats would be, without a doubt, observing and imitating.

Posted on September 10, 2009 in parenting

Photo by {link:http://www.flickr.com/photos/phinworld/141255554/}Phineas H{/link}

It’s amazing how well kids adapt to new surroundings and make themselves right at home. Case in point: While barbecue-hopping last weekend, my daughter beelined it for a stranger’s collection of My Little Ponies, and snatched one for herself. (We’re still working on please and thank you.)  As I watched her waddle off with a plastic, pink pony tucked between her little fingers, I couldn’t help but feel conflicted. While a part of me felt a nostalgia towards the girly obsessions of my childhood (so much so that I began humming the theme song), another piece of me cringed at the thought of my child clutching corporate plasticity.

As a parent, I struggle with the toy industry. I’m bothered by synthetic toys manufactured overseas, mass-produced under inhumane conditions, with questionable safety standards and no guarantee of worker compensation. I much prefer to support toys produced in our own backyard, ones that are natural, non-toxic, brand-free, and more importantly, that encourage open-ended play. It just doesn’t feel good to support Hasbro and Mattel, the megalosaurs of the industry who drive competition and stomp on the little guy. And yet, while I happen to like the little guy, sometimes the big kid on the block is inescapable.  So, I’ve come up with my own toy-purchasing values to live by:

1. Whenever possible, I will choose toys that encourage open-ended play and nurture creativity: musical instruments, wooden figures, play silks, kitchen tools, blocks, art supplies, etc.

2. I will gently guide my child towards the types of toys in #1.  I will do this with the understanding that she is still going to love her talking, laughing, story-telling Elmo. In her eyes, he may trump wooden blocks. That’s okay.

3. I will buy quality toys over quantity. Five quality toys are worth far more to me than ten pieces of battery-operated plastics. I’d prefer to spend a little bit more for something that’s timeless and can be passed down to another generation of children.

4. I will steer clear of Toys R Us, except to buy Legos, which are a family favorite. I will not, however, berate Santa for stopping at a department store. That’s unrealistic (although I will let him know that we prefer non-toxic toys manufactured under the jolly conditions of the North Pole workshop).

5. In general, I will choose generic toys over big brands and Hollywood-driven, anatomically-incorrect icons, like Barbie.  If my child happens to love My Little Pony, I will not freak out over supporting Hasbro. Big business is a reality, and philosophically, moderation over abstinence works better for me.

Do I sound wishy-washy and contradictory? Well, that’s because this is a tricky topic. In this challenging economy, it’s hard to shell out $120 for a Waldorf doll when you could clear an entire shelf at Toys R Us for that same amount. For me, this dilemma boils down to putting my money where my values are. Most of the time. The rest of the time, it’s about being okay with the occasional run-in with Hasbro.

If you’d like some more food for thought, here are two interesting posts from the blogosphere:

Choosing Creative Toys @ Steady Mom
Classic Toys That Are Worth The Money @ Simple Mom

Posted on August 17, 2009 in giveaways, go green

Do you remember those McDonald’s styrofoam packages?  The ones that kept the lettuce and tomato cold and the burger and cheese hot on your McDLT?  Though my husband insists they did away with styrofoam in the early 80s, it took McD’s until 1990 to begin phasing out their styrofoam packaging (after activists spent three years bombarding mailboxes at corporate headquarters with used packaging).

During the anti-styrofoam movement, I remember writing letters to this fast food giant, pleading with them to choose biodegradeable packaging.  There was an urgency in my tone; we were destroying the ozone layer, and styrofoam was, in part, to blame. 

At the same, I slid into my seat at the lunch table every day with a Hawaiian Punch juice box, an Italian hoagie wrapped in aluminum foil, a Frito-Lay chip snack pack, individually-wrapped Halloween or Easter candy, and maybe a piece of fruit.  My brown lunch bag was so choc full of c-r-a-p that my mom double-bagged it with a plastic baggie and a twist tie. (We should have owned stock in Reynolds and Glad.)  I was the envy of the lunch table. I also generated a shameful amount of trash.  But, at least it wasn’t “bad” trash. 

I took me a while before I started to realize that trash is trash.  And in truth, it’s taken me thirty years to feel uneasy about tossing Ziploc baggies.  I truly believe that many Americans have good intentions to protect our earth and go “green,” although I use this term loosely.  If we take an honest inventory of our actions, there’s an incongruity between what we say and believe (or say we believe) and what we actually do.  I’m just as guilty as my neighbor.  

Every year, parents send their kids off to school with brown-bag lunches and snack packs, individually-wrapped meals and desserts, juice boxes, disposable silverware, straws, and napkins, baggies, etc. According to the EPA, each child who brings a brown-bag lunch to school every day will generate 67 pounds of waste by the end of the school year – that’s 18,760 pounds of lunch waste for an average-sized school.

We, as parents, have the perfect opportunity to model environmental consciousness by packing waste-free lunches (or at least taking a step in that direction).  According to Sandra Ann Harris, Founder and CEO of ECOlunchbox, an eco-friendly company based in the San Francisco Bay Area, here is what you need to pack a waste-free lunch:

1. A Reusable Fabric Lunch Bag. While most major retail stores carry plastic/vinyl lunchboxes, studies suggest that their manufacturing threatens our health and environment.  ECOlunchbags are a beautiful back-to-basics solution for kids ages 3 to 103 who would like adopt sustainable, healthy, waste-free lunch habits.  

ECOlunchbags are 100% cotton, machine washable bags, which can be converted from shoulder bag to sling bag to backpack to hip pack.  Each fully-reversible lunchbag is sewn from fabrics that are hand block printed by artisans in India.  This company is directly connected with the artisans and the sewing shop in Bombay that makes the bags.  This is a fair trade project. 

2. Cloth Napkins. Each ECOlunchbag comes with 3 matching napkins, measuring 16 inches by 12 inches. They are designed for use as placemats or napkins. 

3. Reusable Containers. ECOlunchbox believes that non-leaching, stainless steel food containers are best. They come in two styles and are lead free and dishwasher safe. First, the oval lunchbox measures 6 1/2 inches long by 5 inches wide and 2 inches tall. It fits two halves of a sandwich stacked with room for sides.  It also contains a stainless steel cup (3 1/2″ diameter) with a no-leak, BPA-free plastic lid for wet items. 

Second, the retangular 3-in-1 lunchbox is great for packing a child’s lunch, which typically contains three items: a sandwich and two side dishes. Most children prefer their foods served separately, so this 2-layer stainless steel food container with upstairs inner box is a perfect fit. When closed, the lunchbox measures 4 inches wide, 5 1/2 inches long and 2 3/4 inches high. The small inner box, which contains 1/2 cup of wet foods, is good for applesauce, cut fruit and salads. (Please note: ECOlunchbox has chosen not to use any plastic or other gaskets in the pressure-fitting lid of these boxes, so they are not 100% leak proof.)

4. Bamboo Reusable Utensils.  The EcoKidSpork is made out of sustainably grown bamboo and is designed for small hands. The utensil is 5 inches long, sized ideally for children age 5 and younger.  The EcoSpork is a fun and healthy 3.5 inch alternative to disposables.  You can toss it in your lunchbag, backpack, purse, or wherever.

We can’t do everything, but we can all do something to green our world. Sandra has generously offered to give away an ECOlunchbag (with matching napkins) to one turnitupmom reader.  It is 100% plastic free, waste free, lead free, BPA free, PVC free, vinyl free, and sweatshop free.  All you need to do is supply the lunch!  

To enter, please leave a comment below with one thing that your family is doing to reduce mealtime waste.

If you’d like to earn extra entries, you can Facebook, twitter, or blog about ECOlunchbox and this giveaway.   Then come back, and in a separate comment, tell me how you’ve spread the word!

On Monday, August 31, 8 p.m. EST, one winner will be randomly selected by Random.org.  You must be a U.S. resident (18+) to enter.  Good luck!  

Congratulations, #54, Mandy! You’re our ECOlunchbag winner!

Posted on July 9, 2009 in go green

Although we’re a nation of consumers, many Americans today are finding small ways to use less electricity. For instance, while we now enjoy the convenience of modern appliances like a clothes dryer, there seems to be a movement back to good ‘ol air drying.  Why?  Because we want to do our part.  It’s a result of our increased eco-consciousness and efforts to change our patterns of consumption.  We owe this to our children.  

I’ve heard people say: “You’re either part of the problem or part of the solution.”  Organizations such as Project Laundry List advocate for simple lifestyle modifications, such as using a clothesline or drying rack, to conserve energy.  See their Top Ten Reasons to Air Dry Your Clothes.  

Did you know that many Homeowners’ Associations have banned clotheslines? All houses should look just so- just the same.  That’s too bad, and frankly, un-American. (Believe it or not, you can petition the government about energy independence and your Right to Dry.) For me, clotheslines are inherently nostalgic and beautiful.  Bathing suits, tablecloths, whites wavering in the wind. They tell the story of who we are.  

So last week, I hung a clothesline across my backyard.  There is something meditative about taking care of household chores amidst the sights and sounds of nature.  While I wasn’t exactly singing “Just whistle while you work” with the bluejays, I felt like I was stepping back in time.  It connected me to my grandmother, and her mother, and her mother.  These women never knew of modern luxuries. Many hung their Sunday best on a shared clothesline between tenement buildings in NYC. Others pinned underwear (and you can bet they weren’t g-strings) to a line in their own backyard.  They had no other option; it was a way of life.  Yet, this spirit of resourcefulness and industriousness arguably brought neighbors together and fostered a sense of community. People were out and about, taking care of business, chatting through windows and over fences.  All this, thanks to the clothesline.  I’m a bit jealous.  

Perhaps it’s time to get back to basics.  It doesn’t seem like much, but it all adds up.  While I’m not dangling my bras out there, it feels good to be a part of the solution.

Posted on June 3, 2009 in books, parenting

Have you heard of the latest parenting style that involves reclining on the couch, martini-in-hand, while your child occupies herself with legos?  Me neither.  But Tom Hodgkinson’s new book, The Idle Parent: Why Less Means More When Raising Kids, describes a new parenting phenomena that may be the best kept secret to raising well-adjusted, independent children. Less helicoptering and micromanaging, more martinis (just look at his cover).    

In a recent New York Times magazine article “Let the Kid Be,” Lisa Belkin suggests that this new wave of parenting is on the rise.  It makes sense.  In my opinion, today’s parenting styles are a response to the over-parenting of our predecessors, those moms and dads who were determined to ruin our lives, dragging us to orchestra rehearsal because “it looked good” for college. 

Today, however, Belkin claims that parents are saying NO to strict schedules, flash cards, tutors, and violin lessons.  In truth, while I wouldn’t call it a laissez-faire approach, it’s a relaxed style that involves less in-your-face, over-scheduling and more enjoying life and being.    

I’d like the think that Belkin’s right, that perhaps we’ve been enlightened. But truthfully, as a mom enmeshed in the wilds of suburbia, I’ve yet to see this theory in action. Instead, I see kids miss out on dirty knees, because they have too much homework in first grade.  As a teacher, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to get up in someone’s grill and shout: “Just leave your kid alone.”

Bottom line: Chill out, Mom. 

For me, this boils down to trusting more and fearing less.  Trusting that our kids won’t be paralyzed by Lyme’s Disease if they play in the woods.  Trusting that they won’t be a failure if they get a C or choose not to go to . . .(oh my God) college.  Trusting that they will find their way and grow to be decent human beings- probably the same decent human beings who will respond to our under-parenting with a tightening of the reigns, and a few martinis.  

Posted on May 20, 2009 in family fun, parenting

My daughter LOVES music. I mean, really loves it. During her infancy, we spent hours bouncing and twirling across the kitchen floor, dancing to everything and anything. Except classical. Take that, Baby Einstein!