Photo by Mi Pah
In general, we moms put a tremendous amount of pressure on ourselves, creating unwritten expectations that reflect an obsession with busyness. Do you ever say NO to your to-do list in favor of doing nothing? Do you ever catch a few winks in the middle of the day just because you can? Do you ever allow yourself the time to slow down, lounge, read, or reflect? Doing nothing is a conscious choice, and for me, a no-brainer. Often, this means forgoing a load of laundry in favor of curling up on the couch for a mid-afternoon siesta. My telling you this feels like a confession. It almost feels wrong; and yet when my head hits the pillow, it’s definitely not wrong.
Like many moms, I am trying to discover the secret behind managing a home and a family (while maintaining some sanity). Being that we live in a society of doers, it’s easy to feel guilty about doing “nothing”. I find that even when people preach about being, the truth of the matter is that many Americans today are fast-paced, highly scheduled, and obsessed with productivity and measurable results. Frankly, we’re afraid to do nothing. We’ve equated doing nothing with being unproductive and lazy.
Maybe doing nothing deserves more credit. Doesn’t a happy, well-rested mom count for something?
For me, motherhood is not about what I want/need to do today. Rather, it’s about how I want/need to be today. While the first one is goal-oriented and focuses on measurable results, the second focuses on our presence and state of mind. For a moment, let’s combine the two: How do I want to be while I’m doing what I want/need to do? Don’t get me wrong: I love clean bathrooms and countertops, but not if it means lacking the energy to smile, laugh, and listen at the dinner table. The reality is that we all have stuff to do. I’m not denying that. What I’m suggesting is that we give ourselves permission, if only for a few minutes, to turn off the “doer” switch and recharge our batteries. At the end of the day, we’re better off.
Allison @ Slice of Heaven says:
Great post! Oh, trust me! I understand. When I can, I nap when Cate naps. I was especially doing that when I was pregnant and just in the recent weeks, too, as part of the healing process! Words can’t describe the benefits of a good nap!
Allison @ Slice of Heaven´s last blog ..WordFUL Wednesday – Last Summer Hoorah
September 3, 2009 at 9:25 am
Rana says:
I like that how do I want/need to be. I need to be rested and happy and not crabby at my kids. We enjoy our naps. ALL of us. We just came back from a little party my kids and I are relaxing on the couch watching a movie and the laundry will wait for me in the dryer. There will always be laundry, dishes…whatever, but a rested and happy family is the best of all. Great post.
Rana´s last blog ..The party is over!
September 3, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Chefdruck says:
I’m with you. We need to be better about giving ourselves permission to take a nap, to writing in our notebooks, or to curl up with a good book.
I always remember what my first pediatrician told me in the hospital – the only important thing is to be a happy mom.
September 4, 2009 at 9:05 am
Kelly says:
great post! I totally agree! I have claimed naptime as ‘my time!’ and I don’t do anything I don’t enjoy doing during that time. Right now it is naptime, and I am happily reading blogs/facebook/email/etc on my couch in the midst of a chaotic mess of toys. I could clean, but I’d rather not.
Kelly´s last blog ..Bedtime by Myself
September 15, 2009 at 1:41 pm